Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
