How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
