I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
