You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize