toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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