he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
