I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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