What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
