Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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