This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
