I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
