He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
