am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
