I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
