I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
