Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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