Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
