Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
