Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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