they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
