hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
