no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm just crazy horny about you
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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