So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
