final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize