Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
