I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
