What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I need moral support for this bender
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
