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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
