So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
