Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
