Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
