I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
