I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
