I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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