Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
