What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I am puke
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
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