O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
