fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
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