Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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