Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
