it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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