i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
