She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
