Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
