when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
