I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
