K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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