you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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