i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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