1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
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