so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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