Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
