What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Alive.
So much puke
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
