Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
