Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
